I had a little blood when i wiped after i peed, i hope this means my period is on its way! omg i CANT be prego! its just a good idea in many way!
wish my luck!
so far today i have eating a half a waffle with PB on it and a chickin patty sandwich, no my goal is to not eat anything else, drink water and coffee only from now till supper time, only eat supper and not eat again before bed
this is hard for me i have eating like a pig, i am a pig, so i am going to try to start to eat alot less junk and just food over all, i want to be under 160 in a year, thats only 20-30 lbs i should be able to do it!!! god damn it i should be able to hit my goal of 130 in that time
damn it i am such a lazy fat ass
well back to the real world now, kids are going to have a play day today with there buddy and i have going to have a few people over too really i just wish that S could come over with Z and A and M would take off, i love S he is a lost soul like i am, everything we touch turns to shit, but together we make a grate team
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
waiting.....
Its 9 pm just got both kids to bed and S(boyfreind) is at work. the younger kid is kinda wimpering so idk if she is going to sleep for sure or not
Today was an ok day, SUPER hot out, my freind stoped by, i will have to tell you all about her some time she has been on a crazy rollorcoaster her whole life and it never seems to get any better for her
Then Sid stoped over, sid is a freind of mine i have had for about 10 years now, i have always found him to be attractive and always wanted to do dirty things with him, back in june i got my chance with him, and it was quickly blow but it was for the better, though no i am sitting here and am worried i am pregnent and if i am WHOS the daddy OMG i really screwed up this time, the thing is i have taking 4 HPT's and all have said -but i have put on some weight but i ahve been eating like a pig but i dont have any good reason for eating like a pig, i am so fat,, i am very sort and should only weight about 110 but i am at 180-185 right now, and its is starting to gross me out but mroe i tihnk about it the worse i feel and the mroe i eat, i wish i had will power to starve my self or start puking, i would kill to be the size of my sister, i hate her for being so skinny, of course kids did play a role in part of why i am this fat, but alot of it has to do with who i am, i eat my feelings,
I have been thinking that i wish i was singel for a bunch of reasons,
like i am kinda bored having sex with one person all the time, and the sex, sucks, like i really have to do to much work to get off, i want someone who knows what there doing get me off with out me having to be like "do this" and "this" ect. like come on now whe have had alot of sex you would think by now he could get it. and really DONT BE SCARED TO GET ROUGH WITH ME, sex is a dirty act MAKE IT THAT WAY! pin me down fuck me hard! thow in extra finger in now and then, choke me, i am nasty and dirty and you just can handle what i want, move on find a new girl, leave me let me find someone new with out crushing you!
heres the deal, i have never liked my childerns daddy, he just kinda never left me alone and i just gave up and gave him a shot hoping nothing would come of it, no i am here yers later with 2 kids no life living at my daddys house jobless, poor, and traped while he works a pretty esay but stress full job, i feel like i am one of the biggest loosers out there and becuase i dont want to crush him i stay hoping he will just get some balls and leave me.
well shit i am going to wacth some pron talk to an old boyfreind and make him want me, then not give him a thing, then go to bed and masterbate for a while then sleep the night away
good night you sicko's
Today was an ok day, SUPER hot out, my freind stoped by, i will have to tell you all about her some time she has been on a crazy rollorcoaster her whole life and it never seems to get any better for her
Then Sid stoped over, sid is a freind of mine i have had for about 10 years now, i have always found him to be attractive and always wanted to do dirty things with him, back in june i got my chance with him, and it was quickly blow but it was for the better, though no i am sitting here and am worried i am pregnent and if i am WHOS the daddy OMG i really screwed up this time, the thing is i have taking 4 HPT's and all have said -but i have put on some weight but i ahve been eating like a pig but i dont have any good reason for eating like a pig, i am so fat,, i am very sort and should only weight about 110 but i am at 180-185 right now, and its is starting to gross me out but mroe i tihnk about it the worse i feel and the mroe i eat, i wish i had will power to starve my self or start puking, i would kill to be the size of my sister, i hate her for being so skinny, of course kids did play a role in part of why i am this fat, but alot of it has to do with who i am, i eat my feelings,
I have been thinking that i wish i was singel for a bunch of reasons,
like i am kinda bored having sex with one person all the time, and the sex, sucks, like i really have to do to much work to get off, i want someone who knows what there doing get me off with out me having to be like "do this" and "this" ect. like come on now whe have had alot of sex you would think by now he could get it. and really DONT BE SCARED TO GET ROUGH WITH ME, sex is a dirty act MAKE IT THAT WAY! pin me down fuck me hard! thow in extra finger in now and then, choke me, i am nasty and dirty and you just can handle what i want, move on find a new girl, leave me let me find someone new with out crushing you!
heres the deal, i have never liked my childerns daddy, he just kinda never left me alone and i just gave up and gave him a shot hoping nothing would come of it, no i am here yers later with 2 kids no life living at my daddys house jobless, poor, and traped while he works a pretty esay but stress full job, i feel like i am one of the biggest loosers out there and becuase i dont want to crush him i stay hoping he will just get some balls and leave me.
well shit i am going to wacth some pron talk to an old boyfreind and make him want me, then not give him a thing, then go to bed and masterbate for a while then sleep the night away
good night you sicko's
Hooked on Porn
I tell my boyfriend it pisses me off he looks at porn, so most of the time he does not, BUT what he does not know is that i look at porn every day!
Today and Yesterday
Today i am starting this blog to get things out of my head that should not be there.
Today its a nice sunny day, the temps will be in the 90's and its will be hummid looks like a day for a skirt with no panties! love breeze on my pussy!
I want to start this blog with a confession of something I did,
Yesterday I masterbated in the bathroom using a cucumber while both my childern and boyfrend slept, then later for dinner i cut that same cucumer up and feed it to my family in a salad.
for all you sicko's
my family was all sleeping(nap for the kids and daddy worked all night) and i was horney as hell had i just watched some fisting porn(i think i want to try this?idk)
I knew that all my "toys" where up stairs in the room my boyfriend was in and didnt feel like just using my fingers, then i remember i had bought some cucumbers and there was some of good size for masterbating with.
I went and washed it up and snuck into the bath room. i laided down a towel sat down and started to rub my pussy, i then spit on my fingers and the cucumber to lube it and and started to work it in, slowly rubbing my g spot, working it in and out, the cucumer had a nice curve to i could hit that sweet spot over and over again, faster and faster, then using some more spit for lube i started rubbing my clit in perfect figer 8's.
I could feel it coming i was oging to have a squirting O, i was so horned up i worked that cucumer and clit till i had socked the bathroom floor,
after a min of shaking i get up do a quick clean and then step back into reality, time to make dinner, salad sounds good....
this got me thinking, i wonder if there are other peoploe out there as crazy as i am.
today so far its only 930 in the morning, the kids are begging to get out side, i am dying for something fun to do.......... we will see what the day brings
Today its a nice sunny day, the temps will be in the 90's and its will be hummid looks like a day for a skirt with no panties! love breeze on my pussy!
I want to start this blog with a confession of something I did,
Yesterday I masterbated in the bathroom using a cucumber while both my childern and boyfrend slept, then later for dinner i cut that same cucumer up and feed it to my family in a salad.
for all you sicko's
my family was all sleeping(nap for the kids and daddy worked all night) and i was horney as hell had i just watched some fisting porn(i think i want to try this?idk)
I knew that all my "toys" where up stairs in the room my boyfriend was in and didnt feel like just using my fingers, then i remember i had bought some cucumbers and there was some of good size for masterbating with.
I went and washed it up and snuck into the bath room. i laided down a towel sat down and started to rub my pussy, i then spit on my fingers and the cucumber to lube it and and started to work it in, slowly rubbing my g spot, working it in and out, the cucumer had a nice curve to i could hit that sweet spot over and over again, faster and faster, then using some more spit for lube i started rubbing my clit in perfect figer 8's.
I could feel it coming i was oging to have a squirting O, i was so horned up i worked that cucumer and clit till i had socked the bathroom floor,
after a min of shaking i get up do a quick clean and then step back into reality, time to make dinner, salad sounds good....
this got me thinking, i wonder if there are other peoploe out there as crazy as i am.
today so far its only 930 in the morning, the kids are begging to get out side, i am dying for something fun to do.......... we will see what the day brings
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